Wednesday, April 28, 2004
its been a relatively good week, life’s pretty much back to normalcy and i’m glad…didn’t get into the econs symposium finals…not a bad thing, since me and val decided that we’d have a reason to celebrate either way ( if we did, we’d celebrate getting in, if we didn’t we’d celebrate having more time) supposed to have an ice-cream eating session but haha…im not sure if it’s actually gonna happen
Spent like 4 hours talking/ eating/ fixing Joyce’s present with sara at the airport ystrday…arrgh i’m so broke. Prices somehow inflate themselves in that building. How can a freaking bowl of noodles cost 9 bucks?? but besides that..its was funnily fun. Hoing tpjc songfest together on 8th may, woohoo!
And then today was studying at starbucks with the senseis of the world…lalala…random bit of miscellany: apparently there’s sth funny about the way i talk, which is apparently very scary and/or laughable, and which they tried, unsuccessfully, to explain. i just find it really…
conversation as follows:
sherrina: ehh it takes 20 minutes to get from here to tam right?
hafi: no lah..longer..half an hr or sth…
sherri: really? half an hr???
me: if you’re lucky.
that! and they laugh! like, watch the question marks float up above my head…where’s the amusement in that??
fixed deen’s blog today..made a bunch of edits to her template...man, am i proud of me. i can recall *sniff * days of knowing nuts about anything about blogging and having a messed up page half the time…and now i’m slowly slowly s-l—o—w—l—y learning to use css. btw, don’t everyone love this new skin…go blogfrocks pple! the links there..they have fantabulous everythings.
i miss my suede cd!!! i have a song craving…(it’s like, when a song gets stuck in your head and refuses to unstuck itself until you listen to it often enough to get sick of it..) for Everything Will Flow…there’s no copy of it in my com and every morning when i wake up its rewinding itself in my head. not that i mind, it’s a great song =)
The neon lights in the night tonight say everything will flow
The stars that shine in the open sky they say everything will flow
The lovers kiss with an openness, they say everything will flow
The cars parked in the hypermarket know everything will flow
Its an interesting song..i used to think that it was one of those life is so perfect and everything will be just fine no matter what type songs..but hey, it isn’t really…its really deep-ish…underneath all that happy, everything will flow stuff..there’s like this undercurrent that makes you think..there must be more to life than just this just living through each predictably perfect day, in the blissful knowledge that everything was, is and will be the same for you no matter what ( that’s where i think the title came from../everything will flow/…Its interesting, that song. Kinda fits. There’s all these arguments running ard in my head about happiness + life and whether happiness = the meaning of life and stuff…been talking this deep friend who makes all these deep thoughts resurface. But anyway. back to the cd, which must be like, lonely, lost and missing me by now…
Added a reminder in jian’s phone to bring it, if that doesn’t work, i don’t know what will.
another random bit of miscellany: doesn’t this :}> look like a Mr. Pringles smiley?
have lots more to say, but unfortunately its dinner time and we all know how important 3 balanced meals a day are…
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Sunday, April 25, 2004
i’m blogging really intermittently, i know its not very nice seeing huge blocs of words suddenly appearing but you have to forgive me…there’s something terribly wrong with my internet connection and you know me, i always have a lot to say, so when i do make an entry it goes on forever.
Just a friendly warning
Its finally over, the insane mess of stuff that i’ve been dealing with in school..econs symposium’s over, it was actually fun doing it, come to think of it. Oh haha, little minor story about how i practiced..cos see, i have a terrible tendency to talk too fast. i mean, really, really really fast, and we didn’t want that to happen..so i practiced at home with a friend, and there was like this rubber ducky around, and everytime i went too fast the ducky got squeezed. so for a while my whole speech was basically un-hearable beneath the quackquackquacking…sigh. but oh well. all for a good cause. apparently the judges were impressed with our presentation. I quote “good pace…” really ironic, you know?
But it was good…yay i’m pretty pleased with me. at the very least i’m over my freaky phobia of talking too fast in front of scary people. Life’s good, yeah…
await the news.
Plus, i ran into a the tp and vj syc people at the symposium…was really great to see everyone beam … and old tkgs friends. love my friends, really i do. went lunch with roy…xuwen was busy messing around with symposium stuff…ahh well…its nice meeting old friends.
lobby’s coming back sometime this week…gil’s probably dying of happiness somewhere. she’s so blissfully in love, and i’m so glad. think it’s her turn to be blissfully happy and lobbi-fied (yes gil, lobbi-fied!) and my turn to have a shot at messy confusion and all associated. but, oh hell, you only live once. i’m livin’ it up, not down…
living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking
loving might be a mistake but its worth making
so cheers. i’ll be happy with whatever life tosses me.
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Wednesday, April 21, 2004
SPP’s currently working on a project about tj’s arts scene, and i just thought i’d float this idea here, cos somehow i think it might actually work, and i’d love to see it happen.
Currently, external arts events receive minimal attention in school, partly because there’s not enough information going around to begin with, and also because generally not many people are interested anyway. i mean, how many people around you are like, woohoo…can’t wait to get to that SSO concert tomorrow! like, Beethoven’s the absolute greatest?
However there are definitely a handful of arts enthusiasts around. I don’t mean arts as in arts class, lit-geog-history taking people, i mean people who are genuinely interested in the arts scene: in watching plays, in non-mainstream film, in literature and poetry, in music or dance…people who would and do go for arts events on their own. The reason (partly) for tj’s glaring lack of an arts scene is because these people are pretty much the minority. Ok, maybe i don’t know enough, but i’m pretty sure these people make up a very small proportion of tj, and i don’t think most of them have managed to find one another as yet.
So now we have two basic issues
1. finding some sort of platform for those who are already interested
2. raising the level of interests in the arts in the rest of the general population
So here’s the idea: Say we have a bunch of hardcore arts fans…the art enthusiasts aforementioned. These people get together, and well, basically, do stuff together. Like attend performances or exchange books…whatever. People i know have bemoaned the fact that so few people they know would even attend an arts event of any sort, much less actively follow the arts scene. And hey, since there’s so few of us (alright…one of those people is me) around, and since (i think) we all have this *problem so to speak, why not get together since there’s some form of common interest? After all, there’s safety in numbers, etc.
Not done yet, there’s still the second issue at hand…since the point of the whole discussion to begin with was to work towards a vibrant arts scene which means, get everyone else interested
Then there are those who “wouldn’t mind” going for arts events. and honestly, they wouldn’t. When tj was selling Forbidden City tickets last year the response wasn’t bad. And school events…like band, drama, Temasek night and gema, etc…are pretty well received. So why aren’t these people flooding the concert halls? Lots of reasons…Firstly, cos there really isn’t much information available. Occasionally this slip of paper listing arts events in the coming month gets handed out and passed around, but its not really publicized, it doesn’t say a lot, no one actually knows when it will appear, and the fact that it’s passed around means that there’s a tendency for it to lose itself.
Secondly, it gets pretty troublesome when you need to check out each event, find ticket times, check the organizers website, call in and book tickets, make sure you get the tickets on time, etc etc etc. Will the average individual be bothered to go through all that just to get a ticket? gee i dunno maybe we should just catch a movie
Thirdly, costs. Artsy things tend to be expensive. Enough said.
Essentially, there’s this sort of inertia that stops people who haven’t been exposed to the arts to start actively participating. And all the messiness and practical difficulties don’t help. Neither does the fact that art is looked upon as something, well, out of the norm. So that’s where we (you?) come in.
Our core group of enthusiasts (remember?) should be more than happy to get more people interested in the arts. And these people can, by dealing with the messiness and practical difficulties, kind of reduce the inertia involved. Think enzymes and activation energy.
For a start, we could do all the finding out, like, compile all the information about arts events including reviews and background info, put it all together and make it available. And it should be done and designed to get people interested What we have now just gives the facts. What we can do is maybe mark out those that come highly recommended, or perhaps find out which ones offer student discounts. you know. That leads to the second point…the bookings, callings, and everything can be handled by us…instead of by each individual person. Like, we book en bloc on behalf of anyone who’s interested, collect the ticket for them, etc. This might be slightly unfeasible for us especially we’re doing it on a large scale. However, if for a start there are maybe 10 interested people or something, it should be quite possible for all of us to book- and attend- the event in question together.
I’m not sure what we can do about the cost, but sometimes students can get reimbursements after attending arts events. we can deal with that too, if the need arises. And tickets for certain events are cheaper if you buy a whole lot at one go.
So that’s basically it. People out there, please do tell me what you think. Have to ask you because we didn’t think of it early enough to include it in our survey. Plus, it will only work if there are really enthusiastic, really interested, hard core arts fans around to make it happen. And that sounds like yourself or someone around you, please do let me know. email me if you want. kran_berrie@hotmail.com
love you all, and please let me know yeah?
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Monday, April 19, 2004
hey pple...my new ambition in life is to get everyone interested in singapore's arts scene..in case you guys didn't know..arts fest is on 28 may to 20 june...so go do something different for once yeah?
anyway...here's a buncha stuff i'm planning/ hoping/ dreaming/ dying to go for...msg or tag me, all intrested parties..you know who i am
DANCE *******
Ma
Akram Khan Company (UK/Asia)
World Premiere
28 to 30 May, Victoria Theatre
tickets $22 to $72 (sigh)
Music*******
Yo-Yo Ma and the Silk Road Ensemble
(Asia)
19, 20 June, esplanade concert theatre
$35 to $120..(SIGH!)
Around the World in 77 minutes Triology
(Austria)
The gifted and wacky Triology have since earned unanimous thumbs-up for their recordings and invigorating arrangements of music by Astor Piazzolla, Paco de Lucia and Ennio Morricone. They sit nose-to-nose, wink mischievously, and can play without score-sheets
10 to 12 june, victoria theatre
tickets $22 to $42
Theatre*******
Othello
Meno fortas (Lithuania)
11-12 June 2004
Victoria Theatre
$22 to 52
Film*****
The Twilight Samurai
16 to 30 april
tickets at $6 :)
probably more but i havent explored yet. anyway thers some sort of budget deficit happening..theres links to arts fest somewhere at my side bar..go check it our yourself :)
till then..cheers! hope to see you guys ard man..(deen this goes out to you!!) and btw, i highly HIGHLY reccommend the film.
love you all
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thanks everyone out there who’s been so nice about my stressed out-ness and going crazy-ness these days. i think i must have sounded pretty far out. have to apologize..lately i’ve had a billion things to do, plus i’ve been semi-sick, plus somehow i’ve been worrying a lot.. too much.. about a lot of little, unnecessary things, things that wouldn’t even bother me on a normal day. When that happens i tend to go impulsive, yeah, my impulses come straight out from my gut and somehow bypass my brain. And yeah, its been terrible.
think what i need is clarity, and somehow, miraculously, clarity arrived late last night
basically, on one of those impossible, insomniac nights, staring at the shadows whisking about the ceiling, listening to matchbox 20
i love “hang”, it’s always been a favourite, i love the bittersweetness in the lyrics, the way the song sort of echoes long after its finished. its one of those songs that make me ache for something…else, for lack of a better word. One of those songs that’s somehow about the beauty..and futility of life and love.
And we always say
That it would be good to go away someday
But if theres nothing here to make things change
if it’s the same for you
I’ll just hang
So there i was, listening to the last strains of Hang fade from the stereo..something just made me get up and look out of the window.
And its strange, somehow. There’s something strange and ethereal about the view from a window at one in the morning. Maybe it was the silence, or the stillness, or the way the only light came from the streetlamps and the long, darting shadows on the ground that didn’t seem to come from anywhere. But all in all, it was quiet, and calm, and smoky, somehow, and for a while, just standing there, i felt like i was the only person left in the world.
I don’t know how you explain it, its like, you feel like you’re a part of everything and you’re so at peace with the world, and yet, you’re somehow hyper aware of yourself standing there, alone.
Then it hit me, it wasn’t me standing there alone, it ws me and God. Somehow.
some things just didn’t seem so important anymore after that. there’s this incredible sense of peace that comes after realizing that there IS, in fact, God. It was like, there ws just this sense that i could quit worrying and being stressed out and insane and everything, basically cos i could leave all that in the hands of God. And i think i did, somehow. And then it just came clear. I might not always have the strength to deal with the crappiness of everyday life, but i could always commit it to God. And that’s something worth knowing.
can’t quite put it in words, and i don’t think this is strictly defined as a religious experience of any sort..but it’s gonna stick with me for a while yet. And for once,let me say…
We are all truly blessed.
and theres nothing here to ease this ache
and there’s nothing here to make things change
and if it’s the same for you
i’ll just hang
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Thursday, April 15, 2004
did i mention disillusioned? doubly so now. There's this little pessimist in me dying to get out and so...
spent the past two days in school basically holed up in the lab...there's some science competition thingie coming up SOON (like, tomorrow) and so we get excused from lessons to fix everything. And ARRRRGGGHHH talk about tiring. And its basically hopeless..cos somehow all the stuff that we do that's supposed to give us results of some sort, DON"T, and it's basically hopeless repetition..with lots of waiting in between. which is why i have the time to come do this now. Just had to talk to someone, even if that someone's only a SOMETHING. Plus other previous disillusionments, man..my life's a big nightmare at the moment.
So i'm like, semi sick, about a week behind all my school work and man i can't wait for the weekend. I feel terrible..im cancelling all these appointments..LONG AGO MADE APPOINTMENTS..cos of all the crap that's been happening..ok, like it's my own decision to get involved in everything to begin with, but its definitely not mine that everything turned out so wrong. Let's just say things that could have been done correctly, a long time ago, didn't because certain person's of authority didn't/ couldn't be bothered to deal with them until it was too late. I mean, seriously, there's stuff we've been asking for since the start of march, and they only get here like what, a week ago? *wave wave* hello!??
*Lousy decision to come into the com lab but im too exhausted to care. The clash of the disillusionments, oh well. let me be stupid once in a while*
Anyway, to speak of better things...attempted to make a cake with gil for my mommy dearest's birthday yesterday...way cool..its called THAT CHOCOLATE THING...Has a pound each of chocolate, butter and cream and TWO WHOLE SPOONFULS OF FLOUR. thats what i call a cake man. And so, nicely scheduling everything so that i would have like, 3 hrs free to go and make that thng..yadda yadda..and guess what?? after the whole thing's done what do i se but this little footnote that goes CHILL AND COVER FOR 24 HOURS. 24 HOURS!! ONE DAY!!! it's still sitting there chilling now, funnily. so much for getting it to mommy dearest on time..haha
*ok, feel better...was pretty actually. The thing with good memories: they make you feel better*
ok, the vibes in here aren't bad. I feel a whole lot better actually. wheeee! watch my mood swing! up..down...up..down...
Got a freaking anonymus phonecall yesterday...hello? lynnette? how you...miss me not? who am i? guess lah guess lah guess lah...cmon man, gimme a kiss and i'll tell you...LIKE WTH. it might have been amusing and remotely funny if i hadnt been so pissed off already. and disillusioned, yes, my word of the day. I better find a better one soon, don't think i was cute out to be this angsty.
Currently listening to: Incubus, Mornng View. its good! Loud and rocky-ish and i love it..tried playing it in the lab and it drove everyone nuts...what can i say..APPARENTLY some people prefer classical. haha :) oh whee..finally coaxed a smile outta myself, now thats an achievement.
BTW...CT grades confirmed...D.A.C.E for maths econs bio chem respectively. wad the hell, so much for CCC...watch me drop my S papers like flies. Their not exactly of so much concern now. *cross fingers*
*stop here will be back..i have problems concentrating these days*
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004
pretty disillusioned now actuall, only i couldn't find an unkyface for that.
so much for saying stuff and then regretting them.
And i always believed that the best way to be happy was to do what you believed would get you there. Not quite working out yet. SIGH.
YOu know those days when everything just feels drifty and unreal? When everything should be right, but somehow feels wrong and not quite there? When certain somethings just don't quite click? When inside you're just falling apart and you don't want anyone to know, and all you want is someone to talk to?
That was my day, thanks very much.
Think i may just have lost a friend for good. Screw it.
*drewie....whine whine yep, its the same old stupid issue. convince me, why dont you*
Today was eventfully bloggable, but im not in the mood. updates later.
just hanging by a moment here with you...
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Monday, April 12, 2004
Modern day Shakespeare: To blog or not to blog?
Question being, how much can i say on a blog when anybody in the world can come on and read it? technically anyone can. How can i talk about a person knowing that that same person can come on, read everything and know i am referring to him/her? God bless anonymity, indeed, but come on, how stupid can anyone get? There’s no real way of separating online from real life. Remind me to please talk in cryptic circles from today on.
That should make a good point in somebody’s science and technology essay.
I believe life is what you make of it. I believe in (mostly) taking decisions into your own hands. How’s that song go again? living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking yeah. i believe in that. The trouble starts when you take one chance too many, and everything just flies off the wall. Story of my life.
Number of stupid things done in the past week > Number of stupid things done in the rest of my life
I mean, seriously. And now i’m home, honking (ie flu-ing) croaking (ie bad throat) and sighing (over the terribleness of the past week). But its ok. I’m not in the mood to pour out my troubles in great detail ad nauseum on my blog.
Better things up ahead, yes?
Finally watched The Passion, that’s something…i agree with everyone else out there who thinks its brutally overdone. Isn’t there a limit to how bloodily graphic it should be? I know Christ suffered and all that, and yes, the movie made me feel that a lot more intently than i usually do, but seriously. It was brutal before anything else. Flesh flying of the bones and etc. I wonder what God thinks. Actually, that’s not the main problem. Try as i may, i just don’t see no…Godliness in it. I know the point of it isn’t to spread the the word of God or anything but still. It’s just this vast show of glorified violence (glorified cos the one being whacked around is Jesus. Try that doing that onscreen with any other person and see what people say) Gospel of John comes recommended, interested?
Dear dear jamie just sent me 4 cds and a marshmellow MUSHmellow. that’s a rabbit actually. I love the suede. i LOVE LOVE LOVE the suede. And the garden one. jam: Track 4’s ok lah..i like the first one better. Like, I think I;m sending you sth soon. Think i’ll burn you a buncha stuff yeah..matchbox’s first?
Will someday remember to run through that little fountain at Bugis. Little things in life that make people happy.
Will stop here, I’m like totally gone..am trying not be sick tmr. Toomuch stuff to do. awww man. my weekend was insane. SRP meeting on easter sunday..that’s bordering on ridiculous. But it’s ok anyway. Cest la vie.
“if it’s the thought that counts you can always count on me…I think about you all the time…” Close – Soul Asylum
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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
You are a Mentalist. Your magic depends on strength
of will. You could be a memory-reading
Mind-Mage, a lethally telekentic Force-Wizard,
or a helpful Transmage for your abilities are a
result of sheer stubborn will and intensely
keen intellect. Your mind has been honed by
learning and practice into the perfect tool for
examining and dissecting reality and altering
it to suit your needs. You are intelligent and
scholarly with a tendency to distance yourself
from others.
Which Magical Order Are You In?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Tuesday, April 06, 2004
hey hey...i am NOT in maths remedial...too exhausted to live through dee why dee axe or whatever or whatever shit they're doing in there. gotta excuse me, i slept at 2 last night homeworking or sth and after this i have some scary report-writing meeting thats probably gonna end at like, what, nine and by then i might not even have it in me to drag my poor tired self home and in view of all this pain and depression who on earth gives a damn about maths? ok, like mrs goh, but whatever.
anyway....i should like, publish my mct marks right now...embarrasingly low as they are and all but. oh well. it actually is an improvement over last year.
Biology 57
Chem 45
Econs 58
Maths 57
GP 65
Now that that's done...please look at them and feel better about yourselves. oh yuck
"We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen."
something weirdly unexpected is happening! seriously weird. I dont know what to make of it. maybe its a good thing. it probably is. *oh no there are some people who had better not be reading my blog at this point* but anyway. i doubt that person in question would know who im referring to. and so. god bless anonymity.
Ohoh..went to the new arts house again on sunday...watched this art-ish film The Company. Think it ws "one of those films i was too young to watch" and it was nice :) Its making me want to learn how to dance. not necessarily ballet or whatever..but well. dance. of some sort. yay yay can't wait for a levels to disappear...got a whole lot of stuff to do thats NOT studying/ examing/ schooling.
Anyway the point is..sunday was super high and super funny...i think i was like, semi drunk or something even though i drank maybe 3 sips of mudshake..and WARNING!!! anyone who's even thinking of trying a vodka mudshake..avoid the ice coffee at all cost. Its disgustingly gross and *bleagh* just don't drink it. and on the way home on the train we were so totally embarrassing myself..think we were trying to harmonize behind blue eyes or something super loudly, on the train, and there was like a whole family of people staring at us. and little kids and all, open mouthed and scandalized. but oh heck, it was fun. or at least fun-ny. wad else happened? oh yeah, i made a bouncing crab fly off its hook at raffles city. mad dash before the shopkeeper saw me. i am such a disgrace! oh man..yeah my friends and i think im just repressed in school. everything crazy comes out on weekends.
i feel so much better blogging! *hugs computer screen in school* its so weird after not seeing it for so long.
Question from a friend: is being different good or bad? and causes makes this difference?
Diffeent...seperate...detached and looking down at the world from some floating vantage point..think i know how it feels.
but thats another story for another time.
off to the library...
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Thursday, April 01, 2004
Like, how long since i last typed anything here??
Had an ultra high bill last month, my mother freaked out and completely barred me from the net so im doing this in school, god bless the computer lab...Been getting back my Ct results, ahhhh what can i say...58 for maths and econs..good for econs, bad for maths...and a wonderful 45 for chemistry! still awaiting bio and gp, they'd better save me
Life's been interesting..well..unexpected would be a way to put it. *wink* ok andrew jamie gil..i owe you an explanation, haha. went to the new old arts house..the old parliament place thingie...watched an icelandic film that was so totally cool...really disturbing and dark and thinkable. but fantasti . i think i could actually live out the rest of my life without movies.
bell rang. gotta go. but i have so much more to say!! *whines*
till then...
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