Sunday, June 20, 2004
----really...-----
i suppose it is remotely possible for me to be the only flavoured coffee drink i would never touch...seriously? who would put
peppermint in coffee?
You are a Romantic Realist
Okay, so you fall in the middle.
You know that love isn't like a greeting card…
Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings.
You are the best of both worlds
Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious.
Almost any guy can find balance with you.
Are You Romantic or Realistic? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.
gaaahhhh....oxymoron.
enough already..have a good night :)
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I have a glass of milk and chocolate cookies keeping me company while listening to Sophie Hawkins and blogging at midnight.
What an ideal movie moment. It’s like, the crunchy equivalent of hot chocolate by the fireplace.
Been sleeping a lot these days...i sleep at like, midnight and wake up at ten. That’s like, my usual sleep
times two? But that’s besides the point
My attempt to blog
and then study last night did not happen (as you can see) because in the middle of nowhere and out of the blue i got an overseas call and
overseas calls are good things Despite the fact that
yesterday was my darling best friend’s birthday and despite the fact that she has yet to reply to my message, no jamie, you know who the caller
wasn’t. *glare but haha, thank you for calling, dear anonymous caller
names withheld to protect identity . surprising, but cool.
miao
You know, all of a sudden i seem to be finding a lot of my old friends. It’s like, wham, everybody who i haven’t seen/ heard from/ both in ages suddenly all appear at one go. Let’s count:
1. Link, link, link through blogs and i find, like, four of my sec school friends’ blogs. quote haniza:
its like a mini friendster!
2. Met primary school friend at streetfest – haven’t seen her since, like, ok, its too long ago for me to even count
3. DREWIE who i haven’t met since January and who refuses to meet me for various reasons that only make sense to himself miraculously materialized at Tampines. woohoo.
Hmm. Don’t seem so many after all. Maybe i forgot some.
Still i think it’s really nice, somehow, seeing all these once-upon-a-time-were-a-major part-of-your-life people. It’s really sad, the way i drift from one phase of my life to the next and somehow drift away from my old friends in between. I’m like, hardly in contact with most of the people i hung out with in lower sec and i just find that really really sad! I mean, it didn’t start bugging me until lately, when i’m looking at all their blogs and everything, and then i read all about their lives and all the stuff they’re doing, and it’s like, amazing how much time has passed since we were all little kids in that ugly green uniform. I think i half expected time to have stood still, or something, maybe i thought everyone would seem more or less the same from when i knew them, but yeah, right, that’s not likely to happen is it? Still, it’s a little surreal.
Got a funny random email from Winnie..it said something like,
here’s just a note to let you know i still remember you or something like that. And well, it kinda stuck.
So here goes:
To everyone reading this, to everyone who is, and has been a friend ever, whether we are still in regular contact now or not, just let me say that I’m glad to have known you and i’m sorry if we
1) didn’t manage to keep in touch or
2) didn’t get to know each other well enough.
If you never did like me to begin with, well, I’m sorry for that too.
To those who
still are part of my life now, cheers, thank you for sticking around, you people rock! really :) and if we ever do drift apart…the sad truth of life is that some things just happen without anyone wanting it to. But let’s leave that issue at the moment… Love you all, and once again, thank you for being a friend.
I think haniza’s blog wasn’t very good for me. If that sounded like a cheesy autograph book type thing, well, maybe I’ll take it out when i’m a little less emotional. Otherwise, it’s meant totally sincerely.
Crazy but wonderful friend bought us $152 tickets for linkin park.
wow no way i’m gonna waste the last week of the hols. *blows kisses*
baby there’s something about you thah i can’t hold onto
I gotta hold onto this
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Friday, June 18, 2004
Happy Birthday Jamie!
Maybe you didn't receive my msg. *sob*
Have a fantastic wonderful fabulous 18th anyway! you know i love you (even when you do get old, white haired and arthritic...hang on, then i'll be old and arthritic too. hmm.)
*cling*
SARcess!
happy happy happy happy happy birthday!
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Wednesday, June 16, 2004
anyone interested in going for a 3 hour session on playwriting with alfian sa'at? Someone sent me a link..click
here. I know my blog has rather literary readers.
Also, stella artois starlight cinema's happening again! I went faithfuly for the past 2 years, well, its
very cool, watching movies at night in the open. More info on what's showing when
here. Excellent movies, anyone who missed love me if you dare, for example, should click the link. And if you have no one to go with, *lynne raises hand*
Last but not least...there's a football thing called
diva la futbol. Its a street soccer event thing for girls (think bend it like beckham) happening in conjunction with youth day. Happen to be involved with it for CIP..its very happening! There's a link for more details up there. Publicize: tell your friends!
Love you all...good night!
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Something is terribly terribly wrong when a person starts having nightmares about having to differentiate
doors
Like, I’m stuck and dying in some room/tunnel thing/dark unknown place and the only way i can get out is to
differentiate the doors. Where’s the sense in that?
and i CAN”T DIFFERENTIATE! I have the sinister feeling that something buried deep in the depths of my sub conscience is telling me that knowing how to differentiate is
a matter of life and death
Really, I wish we could all drop this charade; all this pretending that what we do matters, when truly, it
doesn’t I hate the way we live here, like so many little rats scurrying around in squishy little cages; the way everything we do is quantified and given
a numerical value , and what’s more, i think we’ve all learned to perceive ourselves and everything around us in
numerical values . So here we are, this society of numbers and little clockwork people, bemoaning things like
the lack of culture and
young people not knowing their roots .
I don’t think we have a soul. What we do have is a
system
City of new, bring forth sentinels who sing praises for the demolition of who we are – Luo qining,
scrapyard
Screw the big shot whoevers that decided it would be a good idea to tear down the national library – and yes, what was that about forging links with our past again?
Why on earth am i ranting about this now?
there’s never a wish, better than this
When you’ve only got 100 years to live…
At times like this, my only wish would be:
anywhere but here
ps: jamie! the titles for you!
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You're
the United Nations!
Most people think you're ineffective, but you are trying to
completely save the world from itself, so there's always going to be a long
way to go. You're always the one trying to get friends to talk to each
other, enemies to talk to each other, anyone who can to just talk instead of
beating each other about the head and torso. Sometimes it works and sometimes
it doesn't, and you get very schizophrenic as a result. But your heart
is in the right place, and sometimes also in New York.
face="Times New Roman">Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid
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Tuesday, June 15, 2004
You're Watership Down!
by Richard Adams
Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're
actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their
assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they
build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd
be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
let me just say that if i had changed my fave animal from rabbits to armadilloes i would have been A Prayer for Owen Meany
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alright jian...yes i agree they sort of remind me of each other..i have no idea what the metallica sounds like though..here's it for the benefit of everyone else...
Say your prayers little one
Don't forget, my son
To include everyone
Tuck you in, warm within
Keep you free from sin
Till the sandman he comes
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit: light
Enter: night
Take my hand
We're off to never never land
Something's wrong, shut the light
Heavy thoughts tonight
And they aren't of snow white
Dreams of war, dreams of liars
Dreams of dragon's fire
And of things that will bite
Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight
Exit: light
Enter: night
Take my hand
We're off to never never land
Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the lord my soul to keep
If I die before I wake
Pray the lord my soul to take
Hush little baby, don't say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
It's just the beasts under your bed,
In your closet, in your head
Exit: light
Enter: night
Grain of sand
Exit: light
Enter: night
Take my hand
We're off to never never land
FINALLY made my way to tj to pick up my chem notes today...attempted to study with deen at coffee bean at bugis but that failed miserably..oh well..what would you call completing all of 3 questions in more than an hour? But nevermind :) shall study properly now that i'm back home
(un)fortunately there was nowhere showing shrek2 at any decent time so i have yet to see it
sigh! think i'll just go buy the vcds for both the shreks (yes, missed both!! sadly!) and have myself a little shrek movie marathon one of these late lonely sleepless nights. haha vas waddya think of draggin yourself down to watch shrek with me at 3 in the morning?
I'm high on pure chocolate ice blended.
bliss
a romantic is the unreasonable optimist in the face of overwhelming odds
Gotta run...literally. I'm high on running too!
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Monday, June 14, 2004
HP3 sucked, its overrated and its nowhere as good as the 2nd or even the first. Its like the producer/director/guy in charge whatever he's called expects everyone watching to know what's going on.Assuming everyone's read the book. Ugghhh Harry Potter movies have lost a fan. 2 in fact, counting jam. So glad someone agrees with me.
THAT was last night, this morning i woke up very very tired and very very stoned. Think my brain's finally rebelling against my lousy sleep habits (sleep at 3 wake up 6...alright, 8 on a better day) and honestly. I think it's not exactly great either...but i seriously can't help it if i can't sleep. its not even
constructive non-sleepiness...its like the kind of feeling you get when you drink coffee at 12 midnight and can't get to sleep at 3 in the morning. There's a
lot of nervous energy and a lot flitting through my head but i can't make myself focus on any single thing for more than 5 minutes. And basically I've been like that for, what, the past week? Damn i hate sleeplessness. Its sort of too much of a good thing. Plus nobody i know stays awake late enough so i kind of drift around the house doing nothing. Thats what i mean by non constructive sleeplessness.
Today was funny...had to deliver my mother's reading glasses to her office cos she left them at home...she's semi blind without them; i wonder how she even got there. Her office has a wonderfully nice, sunny huge library that is unfortunately out of bounds to me most of the time, sigh. Sneaked in today and did some studying anyway, i've given up at trying to study at home. Borrowed 5 for fighting album *cheers!!* and manic street preachers. tag me anyone who wants a copy. God bless cd burners for the poor but musically inclined.
can't wait for my
limp bizkit LINKIN PARK concert :)
i think i'll make it a point to insert lyrics at the end of every post. I always start a post with a piece of music in mind. Like i have a blog soundtrack playing in my own head. I think i would write my entire life story in song lyrics, how lovely.
As i lay me down to sleep
This i pray, that you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away
I'll whisper your name into the sky
And I'll be happy
~ Sophie Hawkins
oh, borrowed that too, this is one of my favourite songs
is there anyway i can make my blog play music while you pple read??
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Saturday, June 12, 2004
After my really boring day of muggy stoning and stony mugging i went off to orchard to meet the old syc exhibition pple, whom i hadn’t seen for something like half a year…skipped all the reunions and al for some reason or another, i should be so ashamed of myself.
Think i was really zoned out…i totally embarrassed myself. Oh man they’re never gonna stop talking about this singularly bimbotic thing which i just HAD to do…basically we were in some arcade laughing at the para para dancing people (no offence to those who do) and walking ard looking at the weird games. There was this little pink machine which looked, you know, utterly cutesy and jap and i thought it was one of those nail painting machines, you know? and so…stupidly i just happened to make some comme nt about doing nails in an arcade and the next thing i know the whole lot of everyone was in hysterics cos the thing
was the kind that prints out pictures from phones and not a bloody manicure machine!! Very very uncool, mixing those two up… ahh actually its not that funny, not even to me, but last night it seemed totally hilarious. Like,
if you miss me, all you have to do is lok at my picture..on your nails… and wadever. And wonderful Vineson had to announce it to every person we met after that.
What i truly did not know about nat: He sings! Street Festival 2004 and he was singing! and i’ve never even heard of street fest. Some Chinese song by some Chinese group both of whose names i cannot remember but that’s besides the point. Almost everyone there was Chinese-ing. Including some very
cutesy bunch of 14 year olds from m’sia calling themselves
apple pie with fantastic dress sense and i mean
fantastic as in literally,
out of a fantasy . A lousy one, with dragons and badly dressed witches. Think frilly white fluffy wadevers over
polka dotted leggings and ribbons everywhere, funny braided all over the place hair, you know, the sort that’s only one up from those saturday night Chinese variety shows and their karaoke competitions for little kids?The sort where kids go in with insane dressing, act unbelievably cute, sing unbelievably badly and walk away with money which really should have gone to a better use. Ok lah. they were not bad. as in, at least they stayed in tune.
Saw old pri sch friend too!! Singing with a bunch of other girls called XCEL. Yay she is so good!! She was like, the best outta the four. Unanimous agreement from all of us.
More singing tonight. And tomorrow.
Sunday will be a good day.
I’m too lazy to run tomorrow.
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Thursday, June 10, 2004
Just went for a really long run, well, by my standards anyway…close to half an hour’s worth of plodding. Feel much better now…think i’m too tired to be preoccupied with anything other than being tired.
And i thought of lyrics to fit in there yay! by Dreamz FM…from the only one of their songs that i know, called Should I Stay…
It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?
I’m still hoping i get some comments. *sniff* what’s the point of putting in comment tags if no one comments? *cry*
I was fiddling around with javascript…trying to modify one of those games, you know, you click on the button and they throw you a random quote or fact or something? Yeah, i was trying to modify a script that had some dynamic random function thing and what you get is a random curse
May your drawers be filed with the fuscous evacuation foundling from the secret cavity of an Ickian Zyzygdung
and so forth. That was a word for word quote by the way. Anyway, i was trying to fiddle with my wishlist thingie and use the random function to throw out wishlist items at random but it got combined with the curses and gave rise to insanities such as
Your body reeks of the musty mucidness pugging from the sweat orifices of a bright orange shoelaces
Sorry! i never actually learnt javascript! And i think that would have been an excellent if
bright orange shoelaces was what it was supposed to be, like,
mud eating troll or something. Anyway, that explains my wishlist.
Haven’t got much studying done. How irritating. Doesn’t helpn that the (un)friendly people at esplanade library restrict studying to between 11 to 1 and 7 to 9. Yeah, like really helpful. a whole 5 hour block in between to do what?? and at home i fall asleep. woohoo!
Alright alright this was an unintended post. Gotta run. love ya!
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Is it anywhere near possible to fall for a person you have no respect for?
Or is that too much of a contradiction in itself?
That's terribly thin ice to be threading on.
i would have inserted lyrics but nothig seems to fit
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Tuesday, June 08, 2004
The only way to live life is to live it for the moment. I’m not suggesting we throw all thoughts of the future to the wind and absolve ourselves of all responsibilities etc etc…what i realize is that there is very little in life that is permanent and concrete, that anyone of us can hold on to with confidence.
Happiness is so very ephemeral and so very transient and yet, who among us does not wish to be happy? Happiness is, unless one is very lucky and very strong, basically
not an independent variable. I think i might have said this somewhere before..the fact is a very large part of a person’s happiness depends on the people around him, the stuff he does, wadever. The point is, in a perfectly ideal world it would be possible for happiness to come from solely within, with the result being a wonderful world full of
shiny happy people but in the world I know, that’s not happening.
Basically, my point is that there’s no use
trying to be happy or
searching for happiness. Happiness isn’t a big thing, it’s small and subtle, and it springs up on you when you least expect it.
And when it does, when you find yourself looking down at your life thinking
i’m happy…this is all i want and all i’ll ever need then live for that moment, live it fully and completely and take in as much of it as you can. But perfect bliss is not meant to last, there’s only so long a person can hang on to a moment. So let it fade out as easily and as quickly as it came in, and at the very least the memory will be there to preserve you.
The whole concept of having one’s breath taken away by a sudden and unexpected beauty would fall to pieces if that beauty were so common and so constant that one is left in a permanent state of breathlessness.
The more I live, the more I know...
What's simple is true...I love you
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Saturday, June 05, 2004
Something i wrote in my previous depressed mode…Been re-reading old diary entries and this thing i wrote…it just fits so well. For me it does at least. You know how its so much easier to talk about terrible things after their over. There’s so much i want to say, but for now. This was who i was just 2 weeks back.
white fire
If i stood in a pillar of white fire, outside of time and space
I once believed that i could look at God in the face,
And be forgiven, and rise above
My life’s my own,
I rest my case
But put me to judgment now and the fire would consume me
My broken wings torn from me
My helplessness condemned
If I looked you in the face you would do right
To turn from me
Cast your gaze away from the dying embers of my soul
Too replete with
me, and too empty of you
While there is time i pray
That the flame does not extinguish
- and fight against the dying of the light –
Maybe one day the waters will run clear
And if one day you found lying,
As an empty seashell upon a sandy shore
-Maybe i will learn how to shine again
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Thursday, June 03, 2004
“I want a world where people are respected for the ease and warmth of their melting rather than the strength of their walls…”
Someone said that, i can’t remember who. But it sounds lovely, and it makes sense.
Today was bloggable, fantastically so.
Finally got to watch Eternal Sunshine, which i have been raving about for the past very long time. And it’s so cool. It’s
different. It’s got really really cool cinematography (love you Kaufman!) and it’s the kind of movie that...i dunno..somehow
transports you, the kind that makes oyu fall in love with
being in love. Simply because everyone in it is so human, and everything they do is
so real it’s almost like their flying off the screens. And all the while played out on this weird, fantastically realisitic,
realistically fantastic backdrop. All i can say is it rocks. Im watching it again. Really.
Would you erase me?
Wandered through borders…have decided to buy Patrick Suskind’s Perfume. Woohoo!
And we adopted a gnome =)
That looked funky, lets do it again
And we adopted a gnome
Named
Vlad, short for Vladimir, i think, otherwise known as Count Dracula. He’s so adorable, he’s got little pointy teeth and huge staring girl-type eyes and
two receding hairlines.
If you haven’t yet gone to Urban Dream Capsule, go. It’s one of the many Arts Fest events happening right now, basically its
-
Four bald men
-Living in
one glass box (outside Esprit at raffle’s city if you’re interested)
-For
fifteen days
I would assume they get bored. And when they do, they paint little plaster gnomes and put them up for adoption for 24 hrs///you take little gnomey, sign the certificate of gnome acceptance (even that sounds funny! Life’s funny when you’re a gnome…) and then take the little guy ard. Snap a pic of him in some place and then return him in intact the next day.
He’s going TJ, man. We’re debating..the track, the rock wall or somewhere on dancers in the wind. Can’t wait can’t wait…
Which brings me to the sad fact that i have a bio practical paper tomorrow. Yuck.
On a better note…
Happy things happening tomorrow:
1. Gnome picture taking
2. BAck to UDC with hafi…oooh, UDC at EDC!
3. Festival of Praise
With these thoughts to keep me strong i might just make it through the paper. Even without my scalpel, which i suspect i might have lost. i have 2 pen knives, haha
Till then…
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Tuesday, June 01, 2004
hey i enabled the comments..now you can write long ,long comments if you want instead if short weeny tags.
my so called holidays have started...i plan to watch a movie a week, run every other day and read a lot. and, oh, study. not like i have a choice. I borrowed The Elegant Universe...Superstring Theory! Its way over my head. Seriously.
Speaking of running. I ran today. And when i got home i had this sudden realization that i hadnpt brought my keys out. Ouch. Had to call my mother, who wasn't very happy...had to get har back from the office to deliver me the keys.
Sorry for the short post. juat had to do a little update, now back to mugging for fridays prac!
Leaving you with a little snippet of a poem from what i think will be a fantastic movie..
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot
The world forgetting, by the world forget.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, each wish resign'd
~Pope Alexander
*muakz*
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