Tuesday, May 04, 2004
i have funny bruises and cuts all over my arm. Its somewhat freaky..plus they look self inflicted, which i can assure you they are not. but seriously...lets count them. 3 big ones and 4 small ones. plus two bruises, one on each arm. and they
hurt
Nothing much going on actually, other than the freaky arms...well, here's something i found scribbled in my notebook...
i don't need someone with all the right answers
or a solution to my uncertainty
all i want is to find that someone who, maybe,
is asking the same questions as me.
its part of something bigger, but the rest sucked. this, now. makes sense.
its amazing how much a person's own happiness depends so much on other people. I always thought i should live life up, and never let anyone change the way i was; or
depend on somebody other than myself to find fulfilment. Which i still think. but so much in life is abut learning to give up a certain degree of control over the way your life goes and let the powers that be lead you along.
I guess what i'm trying to say is that if things go wrong, as they often do, there's not much point worrying about how you screwed up or whatever. Because shit happens, no matter how you try to avoid it. But when things go right, which sometimes happens, serendipitiously, miraculously, and with that sudden rush of clarity, then be grateful. regrets never change anything...so live for the moment
we can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely
slightly irrelevant but somehow fits.
tata...
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