Wednesday, May 12, 2004
We inhabit a dark universe, one in which we use the few moments of light we are given as points of reference.
I sometimes find myself overwhelmed by the awfulness and the pain that sometimes seems to prevail, and inevitably.
But I also seek to express the beauty..the brief moments of sight we are given..the surprising clarity of it all when we are delivered, momentarily, from the harshness and hopelessness of everyday existance.
Its so hard sometimes not to believe that life and existance are just spirals of meaningless-ness; that there really isnt any point to our presence on this earth, and that there's nothing really worth struggling through life for. Maybe that's true. Maybe we're just deceiving ourselves that there
is a point to all that we do. Maybe love and friendship are just illusions invented our brains so that humanity, in all its weakness, willnot have to face the awful truth of
nothingness
Stil I think, deep down inside, everyone's just looking for someone to rescue them, to help them rise above. Some (one??) of the most angsty people i know...one of the last people i thought would have been preoccupied with falling in love..well...surprisingly, is. And so, i guess, is everyone. iF there's no meaning to life as in LIFE, THE CONCEPT, then we must look within ourselves to give life meaning. This is the continuous and upward struggle of the searching soul.
Which is why so many of us strive so hard to find that special someone..a best friend, a soulmate, a lover, whatever..because having that
certain special someone around would rescue our own lives from loneliness and mediocrity..with these
certain special someones there is now something to live for. It is
love that illuminates, that shines light into our darkened lives, that brings the ultimate clarity.
the little prince: "
what is essential is invisible to the eye. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly "
And the time we have on earth may be short, but we live on for eternity in the gaze of those who love us.
and through it all,
i still believe in love
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