Friday, September 24, 2004
I justify my persistant pessimism with the excuse of hormonal depression.
I’m two papers away from the end of my prelims. Guys, whoever i made plans with to meet at that elusive time called
after prelims, I’m sorry, well, that time doesn’t even exist for me right now. Bio S ends Monday after school, which means my weekend’s quite gone…after that i figure I’ll have at least a sort of life.
I don’t feel like celebrating the end of everything. It’s not even celebration-worthy to begin with. No, actually, I feel like the exams didn’t even happen. Considering the fact that the prelims are supposed to be a big deal, that any shot I have of getting out of this country sort of balances on how I do, and that, well,
in general people actually care about doing well , that’s strange. But I’m just numb. Everything’s just so unimportant. There’s no intrinsic value in anything we do right now; their importance is at the very most, instrumental.
And we’re all just stupid drones crawling mindlessly around, hoping against hope, and believing without justification, that what we do matters.
so much for the myth of Sisyphus
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