Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Back from Perth at long last and maybe now I’ll get down to life as we know it
I love the zillions of second hand book and CD shops there, I love the people and their friendliness and easy smiles, and i think all in all it was a pretty good trip. Its easy to be happy, somehow, in Australia. Or at least that’s what the deluded, biased sheep looking over the other side of the fence in me thinks at the moment.
I got two really old, vintage-ish Indigo Girls albums. They’re black and white, old, and almost impossible to get here. Also a lot of books, my particular favourite being a sort of first or second leather bound edition of Samuel Butler’s Erewhon, gotten cheap and second hand at Elizabeth’s. And Aussie shops have fun names
1) A Fez of the Heart: Shop selling Turkish things
2) Cellar-brations :Wine shop, what else?
3) Holey Sheet!: Linen place or something
4) The Pickled Fairy. This just sells fairy-ish mystical things, but i thought the idea of a pickled fairy was pretty funny.
Parents as usual got up to their little nonsensical and supremely annoying little games. I am too tired to oblige either one of them and I have learnt that when they’re in the “lets psycho our daughter to take our side” mode the best thing to do is to be as non-commital and nonchalant in my answers as possible. I respect my parents and they’re both really strong, talented people, but they’re hopeless at dealing with one another. Gah. I won’t quote jamie, I’m not going to say that I’m bringing them up instead of the other wat round, but I do wish they’d handle their already screwed up, dysfunctional relationship in a more, well,
normal way.
Im glad to be back though, despite the relative niceness of the trip. Have stuff to look forward to – Particularly the fact that I’ll be turning 19 in something like 3 days (woohoo!) Cass and the girls have major plans to what they call “corrupt my mind”. And friends to meet, and salsa lessons, and my soupspoon job, commencing, this time for real, on the 24th. So at least I wont be working on my birthday, though more cynical beings tell me its because they want to keep me as their slave all through Chinese new year.
I entered the new year with the sense that there is some sort of happiness waiting for me round the corner, only I don’t know what exactly. I can’t help being optimistic, despite everything else that’s happened that i don’t want to talk about on my blog. Still there are things i wish would happen, certain ideal situations that i wsh would work out, but i’m not crossing my fingers. Old adage goes If you don’t have any expectations, you don’t get disappointed, and I guess that it a sensible thing for me to bear in mind. Still, there’s a sense of missing-ness, the strange suspicion that there’s something
more that has somehow fallen completely beyond my reach.
What it is, i really do not know. I’m confusing even myself now. I wonder if its possible to be happy and sad both at the same time. Because that’s how I feel now. And i don’t know why.
0 comments
