Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Is what I did today after weeks upon weeks of having something or another to do, every available minute of every available day.
Rented "Closer" and watched it in the good company of cheese flavoured nachos and orange juice, who (to quote valerie) love me in a way no boy ever could.
”If you believe in love at first sight you never stop looking” is the tagline of the film. Which at first seems uplifting and hopeful, but the film isn’t. Love is sad and cold and hard and more often than not we cannot find what we want because, to begin with, we do not even know what we are looking for.
Love is fickle, flippant and ultimately self-serving.
To love is to be lost, and bruised, and scarred.
We choose to fall in love because we believe that the process will make us happier, or better people. Or we are convinced that only the presence of a particular person would turn dull existence into a full and sparkling life. Either way, it must be recognized that the bases for falling in love, at least initially,
are always self-interested. There is no nobleness, no greater spiritual beyond, which binds two people together. More often that not love is a purely practical choice to make. Which makes us all users.
Which makes the myth of love a fallacy.
How many times can a person say “I love you” and still mean it? Beyond a certain point the act fades into sheer habit. Or it becomes a lie.
i did say i loved you. it’s a lie. I don’t think i do. But at least I’m honest about the truth I will regret this post, i know it. But I just don’t feel too ready to believe in the possibility of love right now.
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