Friday, September 16, 2005
When caught up in the whirl of life's rich pagaent its easy to believe that the moment's happiness, and transport, and giddy distraction is enough, will always be enough to sustain life. That we need no commitments or ties, that the moment is all that matters.
On better days I can imagine a life of utter solitude that actually seems livable. It takes place in a large room with glass windows filled with light and music. On better days this image of quiet beauty is enough to keep me at peace with the world at large.
And i need nothing more than this life and all that is in itBut solitude has its limitations. And at this point in time I don't want to be alone. I can't bear to be left to myself and I don't know where to turn.
As disgustingly cheesy as this may sound,
i wish there was someone who loved me I am incapable of dealing with reality and its messiness. I think I actually prefer imaginary, unrealistic romances because at least there isn't the chance of being let down.
We learn to expect so much from love and romanticism - and then they fail us. Oh fortunate beings, those who have learned to handle this; whose hearts don't shatter everytime reality stabs their ideals in the back.
oh screw this is so emo
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