Friday, November 18, 2005
It shouldn't happen this way, not here and not now, not when the illusion of happiness is so close to real, not when there seems to be so much to live for and believe in.
There's so much that's falling apart at my feet; whole universes crumble and at the end of the orbit lies and truth fall into disarray, love and hate collide, and there's noting left to hold on to. And I need a sanctuary, something constant, to help me believe that there is more to life than this.
There's so much that you don't know, that no one does, because I have tried to make believe that none of it matters.
I can't hold everything together forever.
I don't ask much.
I just don't want to feel alone.
Is that so impossible to ask? The world laughs at my request and turns her back on me. And the sun fades once more into the horizon.
To put it simply
I need to know that my existance matters. That if I fell the trajectory would be memorized and mourned. That my scars represent pain that exist for something other than itself.
And it is painful not to be rememebred, because what is meaningful is seldom forgotten
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