Wednesday, November 28, 2007
It's 4 in the morning and after spending one whole day asleep in various locations, I'm now fairly awake and attempting to decipher some very strange reading about the Gothic thats 85% examples of books that I've never even heard of much less read.
On a sidenote, I discovered the perils of a comfy bed this morning when I woke up for my 9am level4 cold war paper at 8.24am. And the fact that I even woke up at all was purely arbitrary. It was purely a very fortunate stroke of luck that I woke up at all. Hello jae and brandon. I'm descending into slobbiness, but i shall resist. hmmph :(
I hate how facebook has this great ability to prey on insecurities. (At least, it sometimes does on mine and i really REALLY hate it) There's always an icky price to pay for being nosey. (Junwen, you will read this, find this cryptic, and then talk to me in MSN and I will tell you and you will tell me I'm being silly). But really, someone remind me that what i don't know won't bother me the next time I go poke around people's facebook profiles :(
I'm not in the mood to study anymore.
Someone should come up with a term for sudden moodswings mid-post. Because that's what just happened. Weirdly. Its what happens when you try to multitask by blogging and facebooking simultaneously.
Hershey is lying on the table looking dead.
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Monday, November 19, 2007
It's been so long since I blogged. Everyone of the last few posts seems to begin with an apology.
Apologies, once again. I didn't want to bore everyone with the usual defensive angsty-ness. Or cryptic posts about unknown and unnamed someones or somethings. I've realized, after years of blogging, how often poetic emo-ness can pass off as
good writing.
It's been a hell of a sem, what with three of my closer uni friends jetsetting all over the world for SEP. We're in three different continents, just think about that :(
I had the hell-iest of hell weeks ever, what with a 2000 word essay, a 3500 word essay about something i know
zilch about, a research proposal and a 5000 word group paper due all within a week of one another. It's almost over - I just need to get through today and then off to random happy days of nachoeating moviewatching catchingupoversushi-ing dancingatunion and oh...right its reading week.
I'm not complaining!
Having just sent the last section of my paper out, I'm feeling incredibly relieved and somewhat stunned that I have a still functioning brain (yes, all three of you remaining cortex cells, I do refer to you. and i salute you). I feel tempted to lapse into an angsty
there must be more to life than all this mindless scraping through school but I shan't. There's too much unhappiness going around and I really don't want to contribute to it.
I miss the teeny little random happy things in life that give you the tiniest of system shocks and make you believe, for that one moment, that there's still a lil bit of magic left in being alive. Like receiving emails from people wanting to return me my matric card before I even realize that its gone missing.
Once I walked out of the lift and into a cloud of rainbow-ey soap bubbles. If you've never had the chance to walk into a cloud of soap bubbles let me know so I can remedy it. It's surreal, and very cheering to the soul. The soap bubble cloud resulted from a bunch of small kids with bubble guns, and god bless them for that. I'm old school; i like my bubbles blown. Sometimes I blow bubbles out of the window of my 4th storey PGP room (and other times I blow cigarette smoke, but thats a different story. *smile*). I hope the person living on the 4th floor is a bubble junkie too. if not, well sorry said with a smile
The point of this post is I guess, just to talk about the little things which oh so often seem to get lost in the big hurriedness of life; the flurries of deadlines and papers and essays and meetings, and the sheer
busyness that makes people go scratchy and cranky and tired. It's easy to be unhappy, especially living here and now as we do - easy to fall into the trap of believing that there's a great big
out there with greener grass, better education, nicer people, whatnot. It'll be nice if we can all believe that happiness is this
thing we can grab hold if we just manage to run fast enough to get out of our skins and reach the end of some illusive rainbow. We'll all have really good excuses for being unhappy, and no good reason to attempt to remedy that sad fact.
But its a lousy way to live, really it is. I'll take the small things as they come. And eat cookies dunked in milk while watching the rain and listening to either one of them wainwrights.
Its so much easier to get through life with ambitions that are
this simple.
loves
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