Sunday, October 16, 2011
I'm sorry, old friend, it's been a long time. It is -almost - nice to find you all ready and waiting for me, password and username already saved and all, like a childhood bedroom or a loyal pet.
And what a splash of sunshine I find. I don't even remember the last time I felt so cheery. Why can't we all be happy indeed! How nice that I could announce that with such unabashed certainty. Thank you for reminding me, self of three years ago, of life before potential heartbreak blended - potently - with a brewing quarterlife crisis.
Oh, things fall apart. But we're all here to rebuild
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Tuesday, December 23, 2008
When does the need for self preservation blur into plain selfishness? And when is selfishness necessary?
Personally I think self-sacrifice is overrated. Selflessness doesn't exist. One just expects to get paid back by someone else, in a different time, in a different way. It's just a game of musical debt really, and I don't see what's so wonderful about putting's one's own future (life? happiness?) on the line if the returns on that investment are going to be marginal.
I don't think I;m a selfish person, despite what certainpeople say. However my sanity has its limits and the final sem before I graduate and during which thesis must be written is definitely NOT the best time to cross the line.
Sorry, you're important, but so am I.
And i am fucking exhausted.
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Thursday, November 27, 2008
01. What are your nicknames?
Lynn, nette, nettesy (oh god groan) dom calls me xiao jie, boyfriend sometimes calls me a cat and people who find my chinese name amusing call me by that too - its ying ying
02. How do you style your hair?
wash, blow dry. if can be bothered I pin it back in a complicated style that involves 8 bobby pins. if cannot then that's it I leave it to flop around
03. What's new in your life right now?
Utter boredom, an uncertain future, suspicious sleeplessness and a weeklong el cheapo trip to vietnam
04. How many colors are you wearing now?
1, white jammies
05. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Unless I'm with a small group of close friends, I am extroverted for the first 2 hours, then i get tired and wilt in a corner.
06. What was the last book you read?
Am multi-tasking between suchen christine lim's fistful of colours, salman rushdie's midnight's children and foucault's history of sexuality.
07. Do you nap a lot?
No but i sleep every morning on the train to school from tampines to clementi. That's a whole hour of sleep! To ensure that I get this much beloved rest I do the kiasu Singaporean thing and take the train backwards to pasir ris. kill me now!
08. If the person you secretly like is already taken, what would you do?
spend two days bitching and then move on
09. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Unfortunately. Yes.
10. What was the last thing you ate today?
Dad's birthday dinner at Equinox. It was some 5 course degustation menu by the guest chef (what on earth does degustation mean??) It involved a starter of duck liver and a brioche, tomato and mint soup, the entre which was a seared scallop with potatoes, baked fish and some green sauce, sea bass and mussels and an oozy warm chocolate pudding with cherries for dessert. And complementary cocoa coated almonds and cake.
11. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
45 mins.
12. What websites do you visit daily?
gmail exchange facebook bookforum
13. What classes are you taking right now? And if you're not in school anymore, what's your job?
Asian American lit, Modernism and Empire, Making of a Nation, ISM
14. Do you like to clean?
No.
15. What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
Snow, red hot chilli peppers
16. What are you doing right now?
Doing this and not studying.
17. Are you a picky eater?
Not really but I'm picky about prawns - i only eat them butterflied, shelled or if they are sliced into half lengthwise. I dont eat prawns that have been boiled, steamed, fried etc whole with the shells on, and I don't eat prawns cut into smaller pieces than half, and i dont eat them minced, mashed or mixed up with other stuff.
18. What kind of cell phone do you have?
Sony Ericsson.
19. Worst time of your life?
i dont remember.
20. Tell me something good.
exams END TMR!
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Thursday, October 30, 2008
can i just say how much i hate...
People who jump on bandwagons
and wear obvious amounts of eyeliner
and have disgustingly weird chinese accented-singaporean-accented english
I am being mean and making horrid generalisations about said person. ARGHGHGHGHG
OMG you innocent being. Why do you annoy me so?
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Friday, October 24, 2008
I'm finally getting started on all my disgusting essays. They're only disgusting because I have to do them. In theory they're actually nice, interesting things to think about.
1. ISM about Spatial Representations in Singapore Short Stories. I have very complicated thesis involving de Certeau, Foucault and Pierre Nora..best to revise since I'll probably need all of my 5000 words just to explain them?!?!
I've heard that some writers regularly google themselves to see what people say about them so I shall add that my ISM involves short stories ranging from early 1970s by such people as Catherine Lim and Robert Yeo, to the 90s (Alfian Sa'at's Corridor and Philip Jeyaratnam's First Loves) to post 2000 (Daren Shiau's Velouria and some assorted stuff by David Leo). There, I've name-dropped :)
My original idea was meant to be something about nationalism and city spaces, but its morphed into something quite massively beyond me about the urban text as historical representation; text as memory as tactic as opposed to text as history as strategy. Gahhhhh.
2. Singapore Studies Merlion poems essay
Which is not Christine's. Basically the merlion is an empty signifier upon which people can project their perspectives on national identity.
3. Modernism and Empire.
Dunno what's going on. Such a strange module.
4. Asian American
Ditto.
And thesis woes abound!!!!!
I was looking through my mass of readings just now in search of one particular sheet when I realised that I could recognise/ differentiate readings just from the font they were printed in. It was rather horrifying though I felt vaguely intellectually smug as well.
Why is this such a muggy post? I really also wanted to say that despite all this ZOMGcrapload of work, I'm really very happy.
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Monday, September 15, 2008
Sex is not equals to dating is not equals to eventual marriage
There's nothing romantic about a straighforward f*ck and I am glad I never deluded myself otherwise.
Cheers to a short but poignant history of experiments and its happy conclusion
And because the representational powers of language fails, thus the enigma remains.
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Friday, July 18, 2008
Nonetheless, you gotta love a lit major
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