Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Oh I've been such a bitch its a wonder i haven't been banished to some level of hell in a cage with ravaging hamsters chewing at my toes and a nest of roaches for good company already
i've watched myself being shoved along some fucked up out of control sine curve and dragging along a whole host of unfortunate people with me.
I keep forgetting not to make silly excuses for myself. Silly little over-emotional girls need to reminded of such things as the following:
the world does not revolve around me and my silly microcosm of non-essential not really very important problems
and i have absolutely and utterly no right to involve poor innocent trying to be nice people in my drive towards self destruction even if i insist on heading down that trajectory, God forbid
and my own warped logic will not for one second stand the test of reality. therefore feeling sorry for myself on the basis of the random self-pitying thoughts trekking through my brain is henceforth prohibited.
and really, i should have nothing to complain about. theres so much of life to live, and it really doesn't make sense to waste any of it sitting around radiating misery.
One of my Hemingway lectures mentioned the Law of Positive Energy; meaning, that you're supposed to give back more (positive) energy to the world than you take out of it. I remember thinking it was a wonderful concept. And it is, and it should be my mantra for everytime little miss depressive comes knocking.
adios, and if you read this and see me being silly at some later point in time please do the world a favour and smack me hard.
really really
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